Today, in 2017, as much as we may want to deny or ignore it, racism is alive and thriving in our country. Yes, THRIVING. And I know many of us are tired of it-- tired of hearing about it, tired of our social media feeds being dominated by it...and just want it to...go away. But something inside of us, perhaps years of transferred trauma and/or generational hate and pride, allow this demon to continue to impale our great American experiment.
As leaders, I know this is a challenge, especially if you don't identify with it, but still don't feel compelled such that you join some social justice organization to heartily work against it. I have personally struggled with leading through this tension in my workplace, my community of faith, and even social circles, which I'm thankful to say, are not very homogenous groups. But even with that diversity "win," the mix of people I surround myself with are still haunted by this monster as his makeup allows him to hide more cunningly than anything you ever fathomed in your worst childhood nightmare. You see, in my parents' days, and their parents' days, all the way back to when my ancestors (both Black and White) first entered this country, the practice of racism was much more overt and socially acceptable than it is today. Because of that history, it was seamlessly ingrained in our most influential institutions and still lives within the deepest facets of our society in ways that are not always visible to the naked eye. But even as it hides its face, we know we see its hairy tail moving about in the wage gaps at work, in our justice system, on Capitol Hill, in the education system, and in our color-coded Sunday mornings. We see it. And as the real leaders, the folks who are leading "the everyday," we have a few specific responsibilities in slaying this giant.
1. Acknowledge it
"My son got in trouble up at the school and they wanted to EXPELL him...not just suspend him, but they didn't want him to come back no more...for doin' the same thing his white friends were doin'...How do you teach your child that life is gonna be hard...but harder for you, because of the color of your skin?" -Actual refection of a Black parent, 2017
Let me just say that the game of "Hide n' Seek" we have going with this thing is absolutely exasperating. And rather than persevere to find and expose truth, many of us retreat, believing that it's enough just to not actively be racist. Unfortunately, if you lead a single group of people, this is not an option. This "dysconsciousness," when we ignore it and choose to believe we live in a 100% meritocratic society is not only false, but also extremely damaging. This fabricated notion is a beautiful lie we tell ourselves that only leads to more racism. Leaders must acknowledge and tell the truth about racism and its existence all around us--regardless of what roles they may or may not have played in its progression.
2. Practice Humility
"...and if you wanted anything, you had to get it from a White man...groceries, a loan, whatever...and my momma, see, she had FIVE boys--five BLACK boys...so she had to teach us certain things like how to hold ya head down when ya talkin' to 'em and say 'yessir' and 'nossir.' Shoot, we gave the white man more respect than we did our own people." -A real story from my dad, 2017
The knowledge expectations we put on leaders can be unfair at times. Yes, leaders should be have a certain level of expertise about whatever field or arena in which they lead, but leading through challenges such as this requires more humility than knowledge. Each of us only has one life's-worth of lived experiences, coupled with the impact of the stories that have been passed down to us from relatives or friends (like the one above from my dad). This means we are each limited in our individual perspectives and must take the time to listen to why others feel the way they feel rather than seek to blame, judge, compare wrongs or operate in anger. There are always two or more sides to a story. We must be willing to educate ourselves, to ask questions and to, most importantly, admit, "I don't know." This admission coupled with our ability to release the judgements we hold about other people's actions opens up the door for the truth that lives within each other's narratives. Using humility to open this door will better prepare all of us to educate and equip those we lead. Then they will be empowered to move from dysconsciousness to consciousness, where they courageously have the tough conversations that lead them to dismantle the hiding places and build more transparent systems that benefit us all.
3. Create Safe Spaces and Shine Light
"I love you. In these times I want to say--Your life matters. Your love matters. You are important. And God is still God regardless of this election. We have work to do. A light shines brighter in the darkness." -A text to me from a White friend and ally, 2016
This summer, as I watched another rash of racially motivated oppression and crime play out on the Samsung in my living room, I began to feel powerless. I thought about my friends of many hues and how what we share is so incongruent with what I was seeing on that screen. And after going through the stages of grief I seem to experience at least quarterly regarding this issue, I finally asked myself, "So, what now?" Well, when you were a kid, and you'd finally had enough of the monster under your bed, you likely got the courage to get out of bed and enlist the help of a sibling or parent in exposing the demon. The strategy would typically mean turning on the bedroom light and moving clothes and covers around until you were sure he'd fled...Similarly, this monster is also afraid of light. As leaders, it is incumbent upon us to get out of bed and turn on the light! In whatever space you lead, own the right to have courageous conversations and promote the possibility and beauty of multiple narratives and background stories. Own the right to encourage and empower others around this issue. Own the right to be a supportive listening ear to a teammate who has been a victim of racial oppression. Be a leader who promotes empathy over apathy and concern over anger in whatever way feels right for you, but own your right to create the light...because shining light on this monster is a critical first real step in taking away its power.
As you reflect on your own narrative around this topic and how you have leveraged or failed to leverage your position as a leader in this tension, consider this: Is light shining down your hill? Is your hill dimly lit? Is there no light at all?
Thank you for reading. I hope you'll find or create a safe space to continue this conversation with a trusted friend and eventually someone different from you. Here are some resources to explore as you continue to open yourself up to shining light on this topic:
The urgency of intersectionality- about folks who experience oppression in multiple waysColor blind or Color Brave- great talk on building the courage to own diversityHow to overcome biases- empowering thoughts about being a bold leader around this issueThe Danger of a Single Story- an awesome reflection about the power of stories we hold about othersColin Kapernick's story- great demonstration of the power of listening and releasing judgement
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